Melancholy Mel N. Cholly

People ask me what I do, and I reply simply: “I’m an author. I write books, I hide in closets, I cry about non existent people, I astonish psychiatrists, and I’m completely obsessed with a world that doesn’t exist. Frankly, I’m proud.” Then they slowly walk away with a slightly disturbed look on their face.

People also ask me why I read Amish romance novels. I have no answer to this. Nothing, in this dreadful world of ours, is quite as humiliating as being caught even near the dreaded books. I read them only because I see them as a reminder of how not to write a fantasy book. Or a fiction book. 

But I am getting ahead of myself.

Let me begin somewhere near the beginning. I would tell you my entire life story, moldy ice cream cone and all, but I believe you would simply die by the sheer boredom of it all. You would simply lie down on whatever floor may be under you at this moment—wood, tile, asphalt, concrete—and die. So in short, I am an author of fantasy books. I would say that is all, I could say you have no business knowing. You’re probably wondering what I’ll decide. Perhaps you’ll never know. 

I like long walks in the park as rain soaks through my underwear and makes a terribly dreadful walk home. I like wrapping myself up in a big fur coat to go out in the summer. I also love chocolate, Miss Cross would be pleased to know, but I believe the consumption of the amount of chocolate she inhales is rather detrimental to her health. Poor young women like herself don’t need that much chocolate, and I believe it is messing up her poor brain. Has anyone, anyone at all, wondered why Willie Wonka was so strange? I, dear reader, will tell you. His over consumption of chocolate at a young age. With this piece of knowledge, I bid you to step slowly away from your grandmothers chocolate bowl and start munching on a carrot stick.

Now, if you want a list of my books, just to be vain, I am currently writing several books: The Tower Series: Isles of Ruin, Chasing Shadows: Fear Strong, and Ty Skyy’s Guide to Life. If it pleases you to know, I have finished none of them. I have started all, but finished none. I fully plan on, one day (as soon as I can pull my torn heart together) finishing these books.

Now let me tell you about my Moldy Ice Cream Cone. 

No, I don’t think I will. Yes, I know, I am quite evil. I have to admit, I do enjoy a good villain. The legend of my dear cone lives on. So does it’s memory in my heart. 

...Excuse me, I get emotional. May it rest in peace. I must leave you now.

Until, of course, I die,

Mel N. Cholly