Camera Lenses and Main Characters, and How to Tell the Difference

     I have a problem that I would like to share with you.  Perhaps if I talk about it enough, a partially brilliant solution will spontaneously occur to me and I can share it with you.
     My main character, a young boy with an average childhood, a terrible tragedy, and a fascinating destiny, is sadly nothing but a camera lens.

     It happens to the best of us, I prefer to tell myself.  Somehow, our heroes and main characters, that (check all that apply) witty, intelligent, heroic, resourceful, tormented, dark, bright, cheery, somber, happy little lad or lass that carries our imaginations and, hopefully someday, our readers through our fantasy land somehow becomes nothing but a camera lens.  They don't act, they don't speak, they barely think, and all of our less-interesting secondary characters steal the show, while our camera lens just looks around and is useless.

     Why does this happen?  I have my theories.  Perhaps:

• We have lost interest in our main character.
• Our main character is throwing a tantrum.  Anastasia once complained that her characters do this all the time.
• Our main character is what is known as a "puppet character."
• Our main character is an empty shell of his former self.
• The story isn't really about the main character (uh oh).
• We don't know what's going on in our story.  We're winging it, per se.
• I haven't gotten enough sleep.
• Aliens are stealing my creativity for their own nefarious purposes.
• I've been watching too much Spongebob and am emulating Patrick.

     This is all fine and dandy, but HOW DO WE FIX IT!?!?!?!?!  Unfortunately, a camera lens character is not interesting to read about.  If I wanted to read about a camera lens, I would go online and google "Nikon D70 User Manual."

     I would probably die there, reading that six-inch thick manual.  Where would that get us, reader?  Nowhere, I say.  So let's not do that.  Let's fix this puppy up and get writing again.

     Solutions vary to this problem, depending on the cause, but the main thing that needs to happen is the character needs to be a character.  Characters act, think, and speak.  It's in their nature.  So, the first thing one must do is make their character a character.  I've always firmly believed that unless your character (any character, not just a main character) doesn't invade your brain as a separate person, walking around on the stage of your brain and doing things independently of your directions, they are not real characters, but just puppets you control.  This leads to our next conclusion.  Unless you are raving mad, you are not officially a teen writer.

     So, sit down for a few minutes.  Don't even look at a pencil or a keyboard (or a pen, piece of paper, dictation app, or Siri), and really get to know your character.  Don't worry, just because you are talking to a non-existant person in your head, it doesn't mean you are mentally ill (at least that's what I tell myself.  Horace, Darrin, Ser, Anthony, Nocturne, Alexus, Shrrn, Melrac, Crealis, Charming, Galnore, Drake, Aryll, Endon, Ferus, Ethan, and Crux all agree.  Rachel is the only one that tells me I need help.  Kaleas won't talk to me; he's probably meditating).  Figure out his past, his likes and dislikes, his fears and hopes, his problems, defeats, and triumphs.  Imagine every countless detail about your character, even ones that may never make it into your book.  The more you fully imagine your character, the closer you get to creating a real, living character.

     WARNING! Before you do this, make sure you can deal with the consequences.  Real live character do sometimes misbehave and can be quite rude, sometimes contributing to Writer's Block more than they cure it.  Just ask Anastasia.

...

But it's worth it.  Trust me.  A book just isn't a book without real characters.



     After all, if you don't believe that your character is real, why should we, the readers, believe?




That is all,

Watzzit Tooyah