If you read the heading of this post, your heart probably jumped inside your chest. Or you probably just yawned and said out loud, "Oh, another cure. I wonder what they've thought of this time." Okay, I admit it. This cure will only work for some writers. A majority of writers, hopefully.
Question #1: Do you play an instrument? If you answered no, then don't continue to read this post. It just might discourage you.
Okay, here's one cure out of many for W.B. Say you are at your computer, staring at your blank screen (or blank piece of paper), and you are just about to slam the screen down out of frustration. Before you do something you regret (like slamming the screen down and breaking, meanwhile loosing your other work), try going to the piano, violin, ukulele, guitar, saxophone, drums, cello, or any instrument you play, and hammer your anger and frustration into that. I find it very relaxing when I have a bad case of W.B. to just sit at the piano and beat away at the keys, playing the most loud song I know. And then my brother knocks on the wall (his bedroom wall is right where the piano is) for me to stop.
And so then I play something softer, more inspiring... something with a softer sound. Like maybe a classical piece. I don't find, though, that classical pieces work for me. I find that sad, heartbreaking, movie themes help me. Like the song from Tron: Legacy at the very end when Sam realizes that he won't see his father again. It's called Father and Son. That song really gets me going. Songs that like. Or another one that's really soothing is the one from Kung-Fu Panda called Oogway Ascends. The part in the movie when Oogway "dies". That's a really good one.
Or if you play the guitar, just strum away really hard! That's what I do. Just play a series of chords (not a specific song) really hard (uh, but don't break the strings while your at it...) and smile evilly as you look over at your brother who's covering his ears! But I'm not that mean... or am I?
It's worth a try if you play an instrument. And who knows, it might work for you. Give it a try!
Farewell,
Angelina Zoe
Monday, August 19, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
This Is My Pathetic Existence
I literally just wrote this into my book. This is an exact quote, copy and pasted into this blog submission thing:
(SKIP THIS PART BECAUSE I’M TOO LAZY TO WRITE IT)
Chapter Two
Aren't I just disgusting?
That is all,
Watzzit Tooyah
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Camera Lenses and Main Characters, and How to Tell the Difference
I have a problem that I would like to share with you. Perhaps if I talk about it enough, a partially brilliant solution will spontaneously occur to me and I can share it with you.
My main character, a young boy with an average childhood, a terrible tragedy, and a fascinating destiny, is sadly nothing but a camera lens.
It happens to the best of us, I prefer to tell myself. Somehow, our heroes and main characters, that (check all that apply) witty, intelligent, heroic, resourceful, tormented, dark, bright, cheery, somber, happy little lad or lass that carries our imaginations and, hopefully someday, our readers through our fantasy land somehow becomes nothing but a camera lens. They don't act, they don't speak, they barely think, and all of our less-interesting secondary characters steal the show, while our camera lens just looks around and is useless.
Why does this happen? I have my theories. Perhaps:
I would probably die there, reading that six-inch thick manual. Where would that get us, reader? Nowhere, I say. So let's not do that. Let's fix this puppy up and get writing again.
Solutions vary to this problem, depending on the cause, but the main thing that needs to happen is the character needs to be a character. Characters act, think, and speak. It's in their nature. So, the first thing one must do is make their character a character. I've always firmly believed that unless your character (any character, not just a main character) doesn't invade your brain as a separate person, walking around on the stage of your brain and doing things independently of your directions, they are not real characters, but just puppets you control. This leads to our next conclusion. Unless you are raving mad, you are not officially a teen writer.
So, sit down for a few minutes. Don't even look at a pencil or a keyboard (or a pen, piece of paper, dictation app, or Siri), and really get to know your character. Don't worry, just because you are talking to a non-existant person in your head, it doesn't mean you are mentally ill (at least that's what I tell myself. Horace, Darrin, Ser, Anthony, Nocturne, Alexus, Shrrn, Melrac, Crealis, Charming, Galnore, Drake, Aryll, Endon, Ferus, Ethan, and Crux all agree. Rachel is the only one that tells me I need help. Kaleas won't talk to me; he's probably meditating). Figure out his past, his likes and dislikes, his fears and hopes, his problems, defeats, and triumphs. Imagine every countless detail about your character, even ones that may never make it into your book. The more you fully imagine your character, the closer you get to creating a real, living character.
WARNING! Before you do this, make sure you can deal with the consequences. Real live character do sometimes misbehave and can be quite rude, sometimes contributing to Writer's Block more than they cure it. Just ask Anastasia.
...
But it's worth it. Trust me. A book just isn't a book without real characters.
After all, if you don't believe that your character is real, why should we, the readers, believe?
That is all,
Watzzit Tooyah
My main character, a young boy with an average childhood, a terrible tragedy, and a fascinating destiny, is sadly nothing but a camera lens.
It happens to the best of us, I prefer to tell myself. Somehow, our heroes and main characters, that (check all that apply) witty, intelligent, heroic, resourceful, tormented, dark, bright, cheery, somber, happy little lad or lass that carries our imaginations and, hopefully someday, our readers through our fantasy land somehow becomes nothing but a camera lens. They don't act, they don't speak, they barely think, and all of our less-interesting secondary characters steal the show, while our camera lens just looks around and is useless.
Why does this happen? I have my theories. Perhaps:
- We have lost interest in our main character.
- Our main character is throwing a tantrum. Anastasia once complained that her characters do this all the time.
- Our main character is what is known as a "puppet character."
- Our main character is an empty shell of his former self.
- The story isn't really about the main character (uh oh).
- We don't know what's going on in our story. We're winging it, per se.
- I haven't gotten enough sleep.
- Aliens are stealing my creativity for their own nefarious purposes.
- I've been watching too much Spongebob and am emulating Patrick.
I would probably die there, reading that six-inch thick manual. Where would that get us, reader? Nowhere, I say. So let's not do that. Let's fix this puppy up and get writing again.
Solutions vary to this problem, depending on the cause, but the main thing that needs to happen is the character needs to be a character. Characters act, think, and speak. It's in their nature. So, the first thing one must do is make their character a character. I've always firmly believed that unless your character (any character, not just a main character) doesn't invade your brain as a separate person, walking around on the stage of your brain and doing things independently of your directions, they are not real characters, but just puppets you control. This leads to our next conclusion. Unless you are raving mad, you are not officially a teen writer.
So, sit down for a few minutes. Don't even look at a pencil or a keyboard (or a pen, piece of paper, dictation app, or Siri), and really get to know your character. Don't worry, just because you are talking to a non-existant person in your head, it doesn't mean you are mentally ill (at least that's what I tell myself. Horace, Darrin, Ser, Anthony, Nocturne, Alexus, Shrrn, Melrac, Crealis, Charming, Galnore, Drake, Aryll, Endon, Ferus, Ethan, and Crux all agree. Rachel is the only one that tells me I need help. Kaleas won't talk to me; he's probably meditating). Figure out his past, his likes and dislikes, his fears and hopes, his problems, defeats, and triumphs. Imagine every countless detail about your character, even ones that may never make it into your book. The more you fully imagine your character, the closer you get to creating a real, living character.
WARNING! Before you do this, make sure you can deal with the consequences. Real live character do sometimes misbehave and can be quite rude, sometimes contributing to Writer's Block more than they cure it. Just ask Anastasia.
...
But it's worth it. Trust me. A book just isn't a book without real characters.
After all, if you don't believe that your character is real, why should we, the readers, believe?
That is all,
Watzzit Tooyah
Monday, August 5, 2013
How to Write a Novel: The End
Ah ha! So, brave storyteller, you have made it this far in your writing journey, eh? Well, congratulations! You're almost done with your novel! But first, you have to venture over the hump of the final conflict. You must bring all of those subplots, those awesome characters, and those evil villains and place them in a confrontation against your hero. And I am here to walk you through this daunting and exciting task.
THE END
is such a scary word that most writers try to avoid it. Often, the end means the death of one of your favorite characters, or the ultimate failure of your hero. Personally, I think the end is the best part of the book. I love reading the end of a book, so rightly, I love writing the end of a book. It's just THE most exciting part of the novel! It's the final moment! It's the BESTEST PART OF THE BOOK, WHERE YOUR CHARACTER'S TRUE MORALS AND PERSONALITIES SHINE THROUGH AND ALL OF THEIR UGLY TRUTHS BURN HOLES INTO THE FLOOR AND CAUSE PAIN AND HORROR!!!! HAAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!
Ahem.
So, here are the main points of the end of a book.
1. The Black Moment
So, you built up momentum and your hero busted into the bad guy base. This is the last straw. Your hero is so fired up and ready to rumble, you're getting scared of him. But then—oh no!—his partner and best friend is hit by a stray bullet and is killed. The hero falls by his comrade's side, just to see the ugly boots of the bad guy with a gun trained on his head. No escape. No running. This is the end.
This is an example of a black moment (in short and...well, breezed over). The black moment is the time before the climax, the point of defeat in your hero's life. This is his darkest, most revealing moment in time. Everything is going wrong. All seems lost. His friends are dead and he is chained to the wall of his worst enemy's bathroom with a slow-acting poison entering his nervous system. There is no way out.
The black moment is a hard thing to write and to read about. You've been training and bringing up this hero for months now, and now you have to come close to killing him, to stab his soul and see what happens. The most important thing to remember at this time is to not just bring the hero down physically, but emotionally. Don't just stab him in the leg and leave him bleeding and dying, kill an ally or let the villain monologue about how useless the hero is. Let the hero's negative characteristics, his weaknesses and greatest fears, be realized in this moment. And don't, by all means, make it a simple, easy thing. Make it as hopeless as possible. This should be where the readers go, "Oh, well, he's dead. There's no way he's getting out of this."
2. Facing the Villain
The black moment is your hero's most hopeless moment. He must triumph, of course, and struggle to the next battle—which is a face-off between him and his worst nightmare. The villain should represent all things the hero fears. The villain must present a horror-filled and terrifying image to your hero—to him, there's nothing worse than who he's facing.
This is where the villain strikes fear into your hero. This is where the hero must overcome the last fear and battle the villain for goodness's sake. It probably shouldn't be too drawn out, this facing of the villain—just a short scene, a small glimmer of doubt as the hero prepares to face his fears. It should happen just before the defeat of the villain—the hero seems like he's going to be defeated, then pulls his last card.
3. The Smackdown
Finally! The hero overcomes his fears and throws all he has into the last battle. The villain realizes he is done for and the hero defeats him with one deft stroke. All of the terror, the hopelessness, the loss, and the pain pay off in this moment—the hero totally whips up on the villain.
Perhaps more could be said. Perhaps I am leaving too much to the imagination. But the smackdown is a personal hero-thing, and I cannot choose your distinct smackdown. It could be a battle of swords, wits, blasters, or just mental power. But make it really, really cool.
4. Happily Ever After (or not)
The battle is won. There has been loss and victory, pain and healing, sorrow and joy. This is where your hero recognizes these, and either chooses to live happily or sadly. I can't tell you how to end your book—I only suggest that you make the very end as short as possibly without seeming too...rushed. Example, Inheritance, an installment in the Eragon series, has possibly the worst ending EVER. It lasts literally like, fifty pages. I mean, SERIOUSLY. I got SO BORED that I nearly gave up reading it. And I was almost done with it! So don't drag out the happy ending. Just make it happy and end the book. Better to leave your reader on an adrenaline rush than to leave them bored out of their minds, I always say.
Well. You did it. You have finished an entire novel. You have taken all of those loose ideas and stray characters and made something totally awesome out of it. How proud are you?
A.C.
THE END
is such a scary word that most writers try to avoid it. Often, the end means the death of one of your favorite characters, or the ultimate failure of your hero. Personally, I think the end is the best part of the book. I love reading the end of a book, so rightly, I love writing the end of a book. It's just THE most exciting part of the novel! It's the final moment! It's the BESTEST PART OF THE BOOK, WHERE YOUR CHARACTER'S TRUE MORALS AND PERSONALITIES SHINE THROUGH AND ALL OF THEIR UGLY TRUTHS BURN HOLES INTO THE FLOOR AND CAUSE PAIN AND HORROR!!!! HAAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!
Ahem.
So, here are the main points of the end of a book.
1. The Black Moment
So, you built up momentum and your hero busted into the bad guy base. This is the last straw. Your hero is so fired up and ready to rumble, you're getting scared of him. But then—oh no!—his partner and best friend is hit by a stray bullet and is killed. The hero falls by his comrade's side, just to see the ugly boots of the bad guy with a gun trained on his head. No escape. No running. This is the end.
This is an example of a black moment (in short and...well, breezed over). The black moment is the time before the climax, the point of defeat in your hero's life. This is his darkest, most revealing moment in time. Everything is going wrong. All seems lost. His friends are dead and he is chained to the wall of his worst enemy's bathroom with a slow-acting poison entering his nervous system. There is no way out.
The black moment is a hard thing to write and to read about. You've been training and bringing up this hero for months now, and now you have to come close to killing him, to stab his soul and see what happens. The most important thing to remember at this time is to not just bring the hero down physically, but emotionally. Don't just stab him in the leg and leave him bleeding and dying, kill an ally or let the villain monologue about how useless the hero is. Let the hero's negative characteristics, his weaknesses and greatest fears, be realized in this moment. And don't, by all means, make it a simple, easy thing. Make it as hopeless as possible. This should be where the readers go, "Oh, well, he's dead. There's no way he's getting out of this."
2. Facing the Villain
The black moment is your hero's most hopeless moment. He must triumph, of course, and struggle to the next battle—which is a face-off between him and his worst nightmare. The villain should represent all things the hero fears. The villain must present a horror-filled and terrifying image to your hero—to him, there's nothing worse than who he's facing.
This is where the villain strikes fear into your hero. This is where the hero must overcome the last fear and battle the villain for goodness's sake. It probably shouldn't be too drawn out, this facing of the villain—just a short scene, a small glimmer of doubt as the hero prepares to face his fears. It should happen just before the defeat of the villain—the hero seems like he's going to be defeated, then pulls his last card.
3. The Smackdown
Finally! The hero overcomes his fears and throws all he has into the last battle. The villain realizes he is done for and the hero defeats him with one deft stroke. All of the terror, the hopelessness, the loss, and the pain pay off in this moment—the hero totally whips up on the villain.
Perhaps more could be said. Perhaps I am leaving too much to the imagination. But the smackdown is a personal hero-thing, and I cannot choose your distinct smackdown. It could be a battle of swords, wits, blasters, or just mental power. But make it really, really cool.
4. Happily Ever After (or not)
The battle is won. There has been loss and victory, pain and healing, sorrow and joy. This is where your hero recognizes these, and either chooses to live happily or sadly. I can't tell you how to end your book—I only suggest that you make the very end as short as possibly without seeming too...rushed. Example, Inheritance, an installment in the Eragon series, has possibly the worst ending EVER. It lasts literally like, fifty pages. I mean, SERIOUSLY. I got SO BORED that I nearly gave up reading it. And I was almost done with it! So don't drag out the happy ending. Just make it happy and end the book. Better to leave your reader on an adrenaline rush than to leave them bored out of their minds, I always say.
Well. You did it. You have finished an entire novel. You have taken all of those loose ideas and stray characters and made something totally awesome out of it. How proud are you?
A.C.
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